The showers are one large room, with toilets and sinks at one end, tiles and shower heads at the other end,. I go in and Adam stays outside, makes a series of hand motion to someone who has been tailing us who I hadn't noticed. "He's going to get you some prison threads, so you fit in-- smell wise. Clean up, Celeb. We'll have the make-up and hair people ready when you are done.”
"I'll have champagne an my masseuses' ready, too please,"
"Just part of the accommodations, sir."
The warm water feels like ambrosia flowing over my body. Hot water is a rarity. The world a wasteland out there, especially where I travelled, toward the trouble with nothing but a holo and a huge killing machine with a voice based on a tv show my agent saw in some ancient holo. The prison is one of the last vestiges of a working government that they were thirty miles into, and losing ground by the moment; boilers still had parts, and despite the draughts killing the forests around us, water still flowed though a near by river. I thank God for this moment as I feel the luxurious water and look down at the drain and watch the stench and dirt flow away.
Behind me, Adam’s voice echoes down the hallway.
“Juan — remember out there, we’re ‘the’s.' 'The' murderer... 'the' killer... In here, we’re our actions. We might hate each other, but we follow the rules. And you? You’re the one who makes the world see us. You have got to pen mightier than the sword. Most of them wanted to kill you, but I told them, unless you can get us some recruits, we lose. Which might be true, actually. Only a fool believes the pen is mightier than the sword. Don't try to use Celeb shit on us."
I step out of the shower, water dripping from my hair, dry off a bit, throw the clothes on and they cling to my damp skin. Adam waits in the hallway, leaning in a shadow against the wall stroking the small beard on his chin, looking off into the distance as he talks. He pushes off the wall and starts walking. I struggle to follow.
We come to a locked door that Adam opens with a key off a ring on his waist, goes inside and comes back with two plastic bags, gives them to me. "Put that shit in here." My clothes do stink. We walk away from the smell and a cleanliness that feels like Godliness settles in over us, whatever the hell that means?
As we pass, a Mongrel steps aside quickly, eyes down. A Panther nods at Adam as he passes, looks at me and says, "You were always my favorite, but Ruby... man, when we got to carry her in... sorry. Sleep well, man." He nods to Adam and something passes between them I miss. He then stations himself near by, under an open gangway of steps, leans back against the wall silent and still.
We reach the end of the hallway. Adam stops and faces me fully.
“Juan,” he says, “you need to understand why they need you.”
I wait.
“Out there,” he says, “we’re ‘the’s. The killer. The thief. The monster. The convict.”
He gestures around the prison. “In here? We’re men. No labels unless we choose them.”
“But the world won’t follow us,” Adam says. “They won’t trust us. They won’t listen to us.”
He looks me dead in the eyes. “They’ll listen to you.”
He laughs, "Sure you are.”
“Not a general, though,” he says. “You’re a symbol. I am a mother-fucking General, little man,”
"Like I don't know that." We laugh and I feel relieved, like maybe I can trust this guy, much as I do. Though I can't reach around far enough to get all the knives out of my back already.
Adam turns away, starts walking again. “Sleep well.” He walks off and three of his officers appear,one holding a clip board. Leaves me standing in the hallway, hair still dripping water, heart pounding. My mind flips through images from throughout the day with the occasional horrors from the past breaking in. So. I am the only Celeb left outside of 6. They kept saying I was the last one. Without saying that meant Latoya, Cecelia, Kathy and Pauly were dead. Or worse, signed on with Koch and suddenly converted to their conservative religion in public, and perversions in private... Elias said they were coming for me. I could have ended up.
I think this night ends with a pill vacation and then I notice her, coming down the hall, Maya, her eyes soft in a way I haven’t seen since university. He hair the usual disheveled maven crown, slim body moving toward sleek as a cougar. There are no words spoken as she comes into my arms and I am kissing her neck, smelling her hair, hearing her moan.
We step into my room, I push the door closed with my foot. Hear Maya reach back and lock the door. We push down our pants and she lays back on the bed, I touch her smooth thighs as she pulls them wide apart, then her wetness on the tip of my finger.. I slidedeep into her and grind, pull back out, shove in hard again... again.. All the way out, all the way in. Again. Again... Desperation. Fire. Forgetting. Remembering. She goes lunatic as she comes, screams and scratches my back bloody. As her nails rip my flesh, I come hard; seem to shoot everything I am into her, the top of my head to the tips of my toes spews out through my groin into her. For a moment empty of everything, existing as pure pleasure and affection, we are both just animals, sated and panting. We hold each other too tight, painful. Battle sex I call it. Usually between soldiers in the midst of horror, desperately just needing to feel something good. Only kind of sex I can remember having for decades.
We walk through the corridor, past refugees sorting blankets, Panthers carrying crates, Mongrels fixing a broken pipe. The air smells like soap and metal and cooking. The place runs 24/7. From the yard and outside in the yard I can hear big machinery working, moving earth into place for their elaborate plan.
Maya pushes open a set of double doors.
The kitchen gleams.
Stainless steel counters shine like mirrors. Pots hang in perfect rows. The floor is scrubbed so clean it reflects the overhead lights. Prisoners move with the precision of a five‑star restaurant staff. Chopping vegetables with experienced rhythm. A great pot of stew is boiling on three of the stoves.
"They are cooking the perishables, to feed to them now. They will start making pancakes in a few minutes, if you want to come back."
I stop walking.
“This is…” I whisper, "You're home." I feel the warmth of what I just assume she has created here. “It’s beautiful.”
She smiles. “The gang leaders insist. They knew to keep discipline. They plan on getting to Chicago before they close the doors -- against the elements, like they keep saying.”
"They know about this pedo..."
"Yeah."
We move on, down another hallway. The cells are open. Families are inside them now. Blankets hang as curtains. A few home made toys, obviously made by the prisoners, mostly dolls, are clutched by the children.
I stop again. “Where do the prisoners sleep?”
“They gave up their cells.”
“All of them?”
She nods. “Every last one. They like sleeping outside.”
"I would too. Gorgeous night. Breathability has to be a nine but at least it's not that hot. A hundred or so."
We walk into the gym.
Hundreds of children sleep on mats, curled under blankets, breathing softly. The lights are dim. The air is warm. I ask Maya, "Remember that book we read, White Noise? There was a line about a Cathedral of Sleeping Children.
I use Aimind to pull up the quote as she says, "We laughed so hard... that academic world was already gone by our time, but still... I don't remember that line, though it's nice."
"Yeah, this is nice. Here it is I read the quote:'
“Watching children sleep makes me feel devout, part of a spiritual system. It is the closest I can come to God. If there is a secular equivalent of standing in a great spired cathedral with marble pillars and streams of mystical light slanting through two-tier Gothic windows, it would be watching children in their little bedrooms fast asleep...."
Looking out at the children, some laying still, others moving about obviously having nightmares; rolling about, making noises, talking in gibberish. I want to reach into their dreams and save them. I want to save them. Not film them. Not witness them. Save them.
I pull Maya in close and she leans into me. We stay like that for a long time before going back to my room to grab my bag, then head back to her apartment for battle sex until we are exhausted. Then again... until we are really exhausted. I go to sleep now for once feeling warm, safe, and clean... even a bit loved, though I am no idiot. I know this passes.
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